Status 20070131

WeighIn
106.4

I've been very bad. very bad. For dinner, I ate some leftover chinese food, half of a p.b. bar, a small slice of leftover flatbread and 1.5 dinner rolls fresh out of the oven last night.

This morning I ate crusts of white bread and mellowed it with a cheese stick.

Oh sigh.

The bread. It was good. The rolls were good. I think they could have risen higher, but I did misread the recipe and it was supposed to rise a third time. Though the rolls were fine, the full loaf of bread wasn't baked through. It was so disappointing to cut into it today, through that brown crust, into the first smellicious layer of white bread then...ugh...doughy center. For future bakings, I will use the thermometer method, which - as I recall - reads a thermometer pushed sideways through the bread to the bottom. The bread is done when it reads 190F.

The recipe indicated to cook the bread 20 minutes, I believe I cooked both rolls and bread around 35 minutes, with an additional 3 minutes for the bread.

I also made the loaf in a stoneware pan, which may or may not have influenced the cook time. It is my experience with stoneware that it takes longer and crisps bread more.

The browness and texture of the crust was ok. I used a tray of water to mist the bread, which seemed to work well, and based on what happened the longer the browning takes the better since it clearly needed to be cooked more!

I also sifted the flour. Interestingly, I had the correct quantity of flour, unlike my great grandmother's recipe, I didn't need to add much more flour. However, it is possible that the dough needed a little more flour. I think it was sufficiently kneaded, but maybe it would've been all right with a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle more flour.

Catherine stayed up late, until 11:15pm, to taste the fruits of the oven. It is always worth staying up for fresh bread! It is even better staying up for fresh bread with a friend.

Status 20070130

WeighIn
106.2


Today is bread day!!


Word of the Day:
Dichotomy
1. division into two parts, kinds, etc.; subdivision into halves or pairs.
2. division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action.
3. Botany. a mode of branching by constant forking, as in some stems, in veins of leaves, etc.
4. Astronomy. the phase of the moon or of an inferior planet when half of its disk is visible.

Party Plans - In Progress

PLANNING
What is Catherine's vision of a nice party?
Try out menus, mostly makeahead
Consider having people bring something, no? yes...what?
Should we get a keg? logistics
Decorative elements. or not.
Evaluate parking possibilities
Consider leaving open one bedroom (mine) for better mingling opportunities
Meri mans the game entertainment

LIST
Julia and Chris (may be in Mexico)
Pat and Michelle
Jeff and Rach
Hope and Norm
Cyn and Ken
Dave and Lori
Jean and John
Akiko
Hilary
Mare and Otto
Ricky and GW
Tom and Tina
Laura
Josh and Julia
Amy Wong and friend
Ken and Liz
Nicole
Bryan
Meridith
Seth
Steve and Christi
Matt Kostek
Ildi and Ian
Chris McNeil
Chris and Micha
Dave Laskowski and wife
Mark Eykholt and wife
Bryan and Caroline
Ingrid
Seth


Catherine
Eric
+

?
Nick
Andrew
Steve J

The Price of Comfort

I dreamt last night of the dichotomy of value and comfort.

In my dream I realized that I almost completely separate monetary value from comfort.

In my dream, I was deliberating over paying slightly more for an antique reclined chair and ottoman than I thought it was worth. The asking price was $60. The asker was an overdone, platinum woman who wanted to have me for a few bucks, so there was also an element of pride.

However, this chair was the most comfortable thing I had ever experienced. I could feel the relaxation just melting in my mouth and spreading limp warmth to every part of my body. I imagined how greatly it would improve the condition of mind and body. Still, I struggled with the price tag. What if I wanted to resell it and couldn't recoup the $60? I thought.

I asked myself if my comfort was worth $60. Of course it was. But still I struggled and struggled and thought and watched Platinum walk out the door leaving her minion behind to man the desk, struggling, struggling, until...the alarm went off.

The answer is, yes, it was worth the $60.

The answer is, yes, I need to adjust my perspective and not worry about what people think, or how I might look. Instead I simply need to do what's right for me and my private happiness in matters that have no affect on anyone else.

Status 20070129

Weigh In
105.8

What?? After my Saturday morning weighin of 108.2 and my Saturday night indulgence of an entire peanut butter brownie sundae? And god...was it good...

I indulged Sunday as well, not only in a third of a flatbread, but also in half of a skookie. A skookie is a scone-cookie made by The Met in Conway. This particular heavenly morsel contained orange and toffee with a good 1/8" icing on the top. Delightful.


Egress Discoveries
Vitamins make bright yellow pee. This might also lead you to believe you're dehydrated, which leads you to overhydration, which forces you to exit the ski slope every two runs, sometimes hurtling down the second one with all poise lost as panic turns dictator.

There is a fact. And the fact is, it's just hard to get a good poo on skiing, no matter how much All Bran you do eat.


Conclusions
I have none. I would think I'd weigh in heavier this morning. Is today an outlier? Emphasize 'liar'. =) Or am I offbase with my theory on weigh in vs. fiber? Or did I burn a crapload more calories than I thought?


Word of the Day
Psychosomatic
1. of or pertaining to a physical disorder that is caused by or notably influenced by emotional factors.
2. pertaining to or involving both the mind and the body.


Quotes
"I read out loud in my head." -Jeff D. only describing why he reads so slowly.

"These are the things which make your back broad" - From the short story article 'Bear Meat'

"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows and occasionally the chance to feel strong" - From the short story article 'Bear Meat'

Grab Your Lover's Ass: Confessions of a Tele Skier

Robyn once offered this visualization to encourage us to keep our hands low and close while skiing - grab your lover's ass!

That's all she said, but when one explores the metaphor more intimately, there are tremendous benefits!

Your lover is directly down hill of you. It is preferable to have one's chest squared to one's lover's. Enter abdominals to keep those pointers toward the lodge. Hullo.

One would like to gently cup the lover's b.u.t.t., not pinching, not clutching, no ouch. That means coming in low, keeping the fingers loose and pointed in and the wrists out...a perfect poling position. There is no clenched fist in cupping, which...guess what? keeps your hands much warmer!

This notion of gentle cupping also supports the idea that you always want to be relaxed and confident with your honey. The elbows are loose and bent to aid in the cupping effect, which helps to absorb unexpected poling shock, and the shoulders stay back and down, aligned, not hunched forward. The effort those shoulders usually would expend is taken over by the much more competent abs, which also look better with the additional load. It's all about looking good nekkid.

There should be no abrupt motions or jerking up and down of the the lover's derriere. Smooth and steady scissoring and up and down motion. Keep that hottie guessing and excited, never stall in any position, whether the top or bottom of the movement.

Recipes To Try - Sacagawea

Anytime!

SOUP
15 Old Mandan Beef Soup

SALAD
62 Spinach Salad (includes matchsticks of beef jerky and berries)

SIDE DISH
63 Rice Bean and Barley Casserole
67 Barley and Millet Skillet

MAIN DISH
85 Green Cabbage and Red Onion with Buffalo Sausage
108 Buffalo Hash

MEAT SAUCES
174 Melon Salsa for Meat
93 Groundnut Pumpkin Sauce (a pumpkin and peanut butter affair)




Feeling Indulgent?

DESSERT
164 Pumpkin Patch Dessert
167 Cream Current/Blueberry Bars
168 Berry Bread Pudding with Maple Sauce


BREAKFAST
43 Cream Blue Berry French Toast

APPETIZER
26 Sweet Carrot Balls
38 Buffalo Bundles (appetizer)

BREAD
42 Sunflower Tomato Biscuits
58 Scallion and Corn Fry Bread (deep fat fried naughtiness)

Status 20070126

WeighIn
106.8

There is so little discussion about the effect of fiber and hydration on one's daily weighin. People just say "Your weight will flucuate", hence Pablo's weighted average method. I personally think it is remarkable that weight can fluctuate up to four pounds merely by replacing fiber and lean calories with high fat calories. I'm supposing there is also some water retention occurring as the macronutrients experience imbalance. But neverthless, there is also some poo backlog in this case and it definitely contributes to the retained weight. So far, I observe a direct correlation. I eat 6 caramel rolls, I balloon up four pounds until the post fiber indulgence brings me back to sanity within 48 hours. I ingest peanut butter chocolate bars a la Cat, I weigh in slightly heavier the next day. Once the intenstines restart after their p.b. and chocolate suppression, I would think I'd migrate downwards again.

Them some big kids in that there pool!


Pablo is now putting smiley faces into his emails. This indicates getting back together rather than closure. This doesn't disturb me in the least. However I should ponder imminently Scott's question: "If Pablo changed not a whit, would you want to be with him?" Consider one of the suggested INTJ weaknesses, to overlook details. This isn't to say I don't want to be with Pablo, but when I consider the question to be thorough.


I love my oversized metrorock hooded sweatshirt. It feels like a cozy hug.

Career Description Tick List

Environment I Think I'd Like would have
flexibility

autonomy

some private time but --not full time research either

definitely more interaction with others --here at Epsilon and at iBasis I don't feel as if I get a sufficient quantity

feeling of offering direct value to individuals --as opposed to corporations

have a channel for feedback to confirm that I offer value

no politics and brown nosing

problem solving

opportunities for self improvement

opportunities for systemic improvement, adding efficiency to processes

little repetition, a variety of tasks

reasonable and projectable hours

topic is something I enjoy contemplating in leisure -- I enjoyed programming assignments in school, but I rarely programmed for personal reasons, whereas reading and talking about anatomy and muscle function is enjoyable. I also enjoy nutrition, training, baking...I like applied chemistry and biology at a macro level, I guess.

doesn't involve things like asking for money or selling

a non frenetic environment

movement. I don't want to sit in a chair all day.

more defined work flow, rather than a loose stream of todo's --Not too defined though.



What I Enjoy Doing
setting goals and creating plans to achieve them

thinking of better and more efficient ways to accomplish things

learning, through personal interest and research

structured learning, in addition to personal research. an occasional well timed and organized course with applied concepts would be just the ticket.



other ideas
read through programs that offer PT and see if there are similar programs that meet more of my needs as described by Myers Briggs and personal review

Lies, Lies, Lies

I lied today to Dave G. I am not proud of this. I'm hoping that by typing that I lied I'll reinforce what a nasty thing it is to do. It is nasty.

Why did I lie? I wanted to ski rather than go to the gym with his kid. I had told him I'd like to go would check my schedule and purposefully didn't commit, expecting I might want to ski instead. I read his email "Either day next weekend would work for a trip to the gym with Zakwani (his full name) and me. Let’s check in toward the end of the week and make a plan; sound okay?" as him assuming we were definitely on. And on some stupid reflex I basically lied and said I wasn't available for loftier reasons than a desire to ski.

How would I avoid lies like this?

First, be quite clear about the non-committment. Perhaps even say why. I.e. I'm trying to get in skiing this winter and like to leave my options open. I think sometimes I sound more encouraging of a plan than I should because I want to please. This is a bad idea.

Second, if upon a very CAREFUL read, it seems the person still thinks I'm committed, gently but decisively inform them that I'm not.

Third, if I decide I don't want to commit and do a plan, just say so and say the real reason why. Delicacy is important, but comes second to truth.

I'm slightly horrified that I just thought 'most of the time' after I wrote 'Delicacy is important but comes second to truth'. Not in this case of course, but interesting to know about the mostly unconscious ethical liar.

Dribbles and Bits

I was accused today of having 'intangible personal mannerisms'. What the hell does that mean?

Xmas carols are, in my view, an exercise to measure how long you can hold your breath. Examples: The "Gloria" refrain from 'Angels We Have Heard on High' and "Oh come let us adore him" from 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful'.

You know...that frantic, desperate feeling you get when you lose your toothbrush...

It was a droopy coffee filter day. The same day when you are washing your hands and the water runs up your sleeve to your elbow in defiance of gravitational laws. The same day you forget your toothbrush.

Apples and Oranges

There is a man here named Mr. Eastland.

He is a contractor. I know this because his cubicle sign says so.

His grey hair that meets his broad straight shoulders in a neat line.

He sits loosely, easily in his chair and speaks with a deep-throated confidence.

I have no idea what he looks like; I've only ever seen his back, but I like him.

I also like his fruit.

It sits there at his right hand, a small collection of oranges and green apples, which clearly experiences a high degree of turnover.

It is a small thing, but surprisingly unusual, to see those colors and that freshness on a cubicle desk.

Walking by Mr. Eastland's colorful ever consumed and replenished pile always gives me a small lift.

Giving Peace a Chance

Writing Pablo my final version of the note, after one week of deliberation and discussion, gave me a lot of relief and closure.

Career counseling offered some additional peace in terms of confirming some of my ideas about myself and offering constructive guidelines on how to approach my interior and exterior life, currently and looking towards the future. I felt exhilirated about small modifications, even choosing to interject more energy into my conversation with the counselor after she remarked I nod a lot but don't reveal much about what I'm thinking. I also get a lift whenever I'm able to get out of myself and make eye contact and smile and get the same in return. It's empowering, though never much easier even with prior success.

Today, after receiving Pablo's note, there is an even greater lightness. I didn't obersve this internally immediately upon reading the email, but I observed an easier interaction with The Hall People, the smiling, the eye contact and cheeriness. This lightness is partly due to a release of some of the ugly tension caused by the uncertainty that we think bad things of each other. Of course, the buoyancy is also assisted by the potenial for long term companionship, which undeniably is something most people crave. This latter happiness I am checking because I simply don't know what Pablo is thinking or how I will respond to it once he shares his thoughts.

There is certainly still general edginess, as I have perceived this month my hands tend to shake a lot when speaking about relationships, and they were still shaking when I spoke with Rachel today at lunch.

Status 20070125

WeighIn
106.4

Today I was so nervous about calling Rachel to ask if she could pick me up at the Honda dealer. Why do I fear other humans? I put off the call for 15 minutes, then finally with tension, made the call. She sounded abrupt and surprised as she picked up the phone, which increased my tension. Then I asked the question and heard the flappy response: "Oh yeah! the Herb Chambers in Burlington, totally no problem!"

Not even a trace of discomposure. I felt quite silly.




I opened the return portal to North Dakota and my favorite cousin, Roberta, is coming out to visit for the metropolitan weekend. I would like the abode to glitter and sparkle to the harmony of simple green and a dusting rag. Sheets buoyant from a recent tumble with fabric softener, disinfected bathroom rugs and toiletries arranged with enchanting effectiveness . . . Martha, Martha, be with me as I pray . . .




Pablo responded to my message in an unexpected way.

Dear Ramona,

I am glad to hear that your belongings reached their destination safe and sound, I certainly didn’t want to take any chances and damage/scratch any of the items. I obviously took the note that you had taped to the door… I also saw the date when you wrote it… I realized you probably left it there for many days, which was, well, frankly, incredibly sweet. I thank you immensely for writing what you wrote. I won’t deny that I was deeply hurt after the call, by some of the things that were said, so the note meant *a lot* to me. I know that sometimes you think I’m theatrical, but I really was touched by it, it is no hyperbole. I also wish I had gotten my hands on it sooner :-\.

I am going through an incredibly stressing period at the office, I’ve worked an insane amount of hours the past weeks and have gotten little sleep, so I really don’t trust that I would be able to convey in written form what I’d like to say addressing your last two paragraphs. I figured it would be better if we could meet at a time and place of your convenience (I don’t know where you’re working at these days), and take that opportunity too to get my stuff. If you don’t want to meet I understand, and in that case I guess I’d choose the delivery method that least inconveniences you, which probably would be for you to leave my stuff on your doorstep, and I’d go and get it the day you leave it out. I’ll be working throughout the weekend so that is an option too.

Receive my very best,

Pablo

Myers Briggs and Career Analysis

I saw a career counselor for interpretation of my Meyers Briggs test. The Meyers Briggs test has four dichotomies:

E-I "Where you like to focus your attention" E is extraversion, I is introversion. This does not necessarily align with a person's people-friendliness, but is a reflection on whether they prefer to focus on the outer world of people and things or the inner world of ideas and impressions.

S-N "The way you like to look at things" S is sensing, N is intuion. Sensors like to focus on the immediate concrete information gained from the senses while intuitors focus on the future with a view towards patterns and possibilities.

T-F "The way you like to go about deciding things" T is thinking, F is feeling. Thinkers are logical and use objective analysis of cause and effect where feelers primarily base their decision on values and subjective evaluation of person-centered concerns.

J-P "How you deal with the outer world" J is judging, P is perceiving. Judgers like a planned and organized approach to life and like things settled, they like to have closure. Perceivers are flexible and spontaneous and like to keep their options open.

Her results showed that I am an ENTJ. I am Moderately Intuitive and Clearly Judging. I am only slightly Extroverted and slightly Thinking. Because of the slight leanings, I was permitted to explore the opposite traits for these parts of my personality: Introversion and Feeling.

It was clear on reading the descriptions that I leaned more towards Thinking than Feeling. But when I considered Extroversion vs Introversion by reading the ENTJ and INTJ descriptions, I felt on the fence. There were ways they each called to me. Interestingly enough, these are also two of the four types found in corporate management.

The descriptions are:

INTJ Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance for themselves and others.

ENTJ Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and inefficient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas.

Sue W explained to me that we go through phases in our lives where different dichotomies lead us. For each type, there are four preferences that we follow in primary, secondary, tertiary and 'least preferable' order. These correspond to the phases of our lives, 1. childhood through teens 2. teens to early 3os, 3. 30's to midlife, 4. Latter life. Effectively, we tend to end up more balanced as we move through these phases.

ENTJ preferences were as follows:
1. Thinking 2. Intuition 3. Sensing 4. Feeling

INTJ preferences were as follows:
1. Intuition 2. Thinking 3. Feeling 4. Sensing

She ended up leaning towards INTJ for me once I explained to her my childhood, which was focused less on logical games and technical activities and more on creative and private activites such as writing, playing the piano and reading. Per the preferences, it would make more sense that I was more intuitive then and more thinking now (INTJ) rather than thinking then and intuiting now (ENTJ).

So far, so good. Another side note, INTJs make up 1% of the population. She asked me if I felt different, as if I didn't fit in. I responded that I thought most people felt that way. =)

INTJ and Sensing - the least preferred attribute

She had a second analogy, corresponding to right hand and left hand. If I am right handed, I will do things better with my right hand. I will be drawn to things I can do with my right hand. If I try something requiring my left hand, I will not perform as well, I will be more clumsy. So assuming I am INTJ, if I attempt my fourth preference, Sensing, in my second stage of life I will probably not be good at it right off. This is not to say it can't be developed, it just isn't strongly present right now.

She thought is was interesting then that I suggested PT as there are obvious sensory elements to it.

She highlighted one item on the handouts, which was the response to stress characterized by an INTJ. They can overindulge in Sensing activities - watching TV reruns, playing cards, overeating - or become overly focused on specific details that they normally do not notice or usually see as unimportant. Later I mentioned baking and she approved of it as a positive indulgence for a sensory dope like an INTJ. Sue also suggested sleeping as a recommended sensory activity . . . I'm ok with that. =)

How others may see INTJs and Tips for Communication Growth

They usually don't directly express their most valued and valuable part - their creative insights. Instead they translate them into logical plans and decisions. Because of this, others sometimes experience INTJs as intractable, much to the surprise of the INTJ who is very willing to change an opinion when new evidence emerges. They present a calm, decisive and assured face to the world, though they often find it difficult to engage in social conversation. Other usually see INTJs as

• Private, reserved, hard to know, even aloof
• Conceptual, original and independent

Sue, near the end of the interview, laughed and told me that she certainly saw Introvert elements to me. I tended to nod my head a lot and smile. This made it difficult for her to know how she was connecting with me. A more extroverted personality would tend to jump in and offer parallels and ideas and stories related to what she was saying. I realized just before she made this comment she was talking about how her personality type worked well with another personality type. I was thinking at the same time about how mine and Catherine's types worked, and also wondering if certain types complimented each other better than other types.

This is something to work on, to feed out those thoughts. The handouts had interview suggestions such as "Generate a high energy level when pursuing opportunities", that is, when interviewing or contacting others, demonstrate interest and eagerness that they might not otherwise see. Also, "Put myself in the employer's shoes and communicate eagerness for the job". It is certainly true that often people don't realize how much I am interested or would like to be involved in something since I tend to be more level when communicating on the topic, especially if I am not with someone who makes me totally comfortable.

More . . .TBD

[insert more about the preferences, potentials, personality characteristics and appropriate jobs for INTJs]

Final Thoughts

Part of her final suggestion was to explore the avenues that interested me, but keep an eye out for a path that would permit more research or holistic opportunities, i.e. mind and body. Also, it seems a path that would permit some private time would be valuable to explore.

Status 20070124

WeighIn
107.4
No chocolate foh you!

It is done. I have written Pablo an email which is under the post "Dear Pablo" as the final version. I do believe I have exhausted the analysis and why fore's of our relationship and need to close discussion on that topic, especially with poor, long-suffering Catherine.

Body Position Medical Terms

anterior - front
posterior - back
lateral - side

proximal - near
distal - far

lateral - outside
medial - inside

inversion - turned in, medially
eversion - turned out, laterally

abduct - separate
adduct - bring together

pronation - place on front (i.e. hands on table with palms down)
supination - place on back (i.e. hands on table with palm up, "dead spider")

flexion - shortening the muscle / bringing two connected parts closer and lowering the angle between them
extension - keeping the angle of the two parts at 180 degrees
hyperextension - keeping the angle of the two parts above 180 degrees. (i.e. place hand/arm in prone position, then pull the fingers back towards you)

dorsal - top of the foot or hand
plantar - bottom of the foot (plantar flexion points the toes, dorsal flexion pulls the toes toward the calf)



Reference:

Really cool ppt with explanations of terminology:
http://www.indyrad.iupui.edu/public/radsci/radhome/R103/2003%20R103%20Unit%20III%20Positioning%20Terms.ppt#280,1,Introduction to Clinical Radiography

Musculoskeletal Standards in Writing - In Progress

Read not. This is a placeholder.

did the muscular hold occur first, or the penmenship (modern cursive)?
if penmenship,
who dictated what was considered good (modern cursive) penmenship?
what was their basis for this?
who decided what musculature should support this penmenship?
what factors did they consider in determining this?
were there other lines of thought that were less popular?



http://www.paperpenalia.com/history.html
Later came A. N. Palmer, who was considered revolutionary in his time and who approached penmanship training with a regimentation that left generations of children with shivers if they heard the
term "push-pull." Children were, among other things, made to stand at blackboards and, at "push" and "pull" commands from the teacher, make rows of consistent up/down chalk marks. As skill
advanced, these would be done on paper in decreasing sizes until a good writing size was reached.
As typewriting had mechanized office communication, Palmer turned individual writers into machines -- the social importance ascribed to handwriting had again transmogrified from an integral
indicator of character to a disconnected musculoskeletal function. Palmer"s method did, however, result in uniform, legible handwriting. The downturn of penmanship was in part in response to
that extreme regimentation.
Later chapters trace the development of graphology, which has its roots in mid-1700s attempts to decipher character from physiognomy (phrenology was one branch of that school of thought), and
the evolution and devolution of the craft as it gradually slipped into disrepute and became sidelined as an inessential element in an educated, well-rounded person.

/////
http://www.zanerian.com/Palmer.html

Raised Breads

There are quick breads and yeast breads. Quick breads use baking powder or soda, which generate carbon dioxide much faster than yeast. In this category we include cakes and delicate pastries.

There are two kinds of wheat, soft and hard. Hard wheat has more protein and can hold its shape better; i.e. it is ideal for keeping pockets available for slow rising yeast breads to fill in. Soft wheat doesn't hold its shape as well but responds better to quick rising agents, those used in cakes and pastries. If you try to make bread with soft wheat only, it will not rise as well since the structure is less rigid and will be less apt to maintain its shape and hold in the carbon dixode until the bread has set.

All purpose flour is a mixture of soft and hard wheat. Bread flour is a blend of all hard wheat. All purpose flour is less ideal than bread flour for making yeast breads, as you might have guessed. I read a note from "Chef Joan", who combines both types in her recipe, saying that the all purpose flour absorbs more liquid and therefore result in a fluffy light texture. The bread flour has more gluten which gives the dough elasticity and makes it more dense. hmmm...trying to balance out these factors....

Another factor is not only the type of wheat (soft vs hard) but also the refinement. Whole wheat flours contain the entire wheat berry, including the germ and bran. Highly refined flours (among them your standard enriched all purpose flour) do not.

An interesting attribute of whole wheat is that it absorbs more water per volume than highly refined flour.

The factor I am particularily interested in is why Rachel's sticky buns were dense and cement like when she substituted whole wheat for all purpose flour. Was it due to the soft/hard property of the wheat? I believe it's possible to buy a whole wheat flour made entirely of soft wheat. Perhaps she needed to add more water to meet the absorption requirements of the whole wheat? Or were her hockey pucks due to some other property of whole wheat flour and the effect of the wheat berry on the glutinous dough structure?

The starch content of the flour also matters. Starch is a carb that makes up about 70% of the flour by weight. It releases sugars into the dough on which the yeast feeds. It also reinforces gluten and absorbs water helping the gluten hold in those gas bubbles.

This is yet to be resolved, but fascinating stuff.

Note: white whole wheat flour rises higher, making it lighter and milder in taste (more like enriched white flour) than the traditional whole wheat flour, which is made from hard red wheat.

Note 2: Durum wheat is super hard, making it appropriate for pasta and egg noodles.

Some Answers
Whole wheat flour has less gluten making proteins and less starch due to the presence of that other good stuff, germ and bran. These might comfort us in the pursuit of good health, but also can limit our palatial pleasure in the bread department. Why?

Point 1: Gluten is an elastic compound formed by the lining up of key proteins that lends structure to bread. Less gluten means less structural integrity which means less rising which means if you just substitute whole wheat for all purpose flour, you'll get denser, smaller loaves

Point 2: Bran is sharp and cuts gluten fibers as the dough rises, further reducing the structural integrity of the bread. Whole wheat flour contains bran, all purpose does not.

Point 3: Whole wheat flour absorbs significantly more water than all purpose flour.

Point 4: Whole wheat flour contains less starch than all purpose flour. The starch in flour is broken down by enzymes from the proteins to coax out sugars which will feed the yeast. If the yeast is not fed enough, it will not poo out enough carbon dioxide to sufficiently push out the gluten web you so lovingly prepared earlier.

This is all sounding quite discouraging to those of us who desire healthy colons and fluffy snacky bread. However, we can counter some of these properties of whole wheat flour.

Response 1: The easy and most common answer to countering lower gluten making ability of whole wheat flour is to replace some of it with all purpose flour. I've read suggestions to replace anywhere from 66% to 80%. Another idea is to add some extra vital wheat gluten or gluten flour to help form those glutenous strands.

I would personally suggest using bread flour in lieu of all purpose. This is because bread flour is made from all hard wheat, which produces more gluten than all purpose flour, which is a blend of hard and soft wheat.

Finally, kneading bread is what makes gooey gooey dough into a marvelous glutenous strong-like-bull mass. Kneading is what aligns those elastic fibers and makes them most strong and cohesive.

So if you are using the part whole wheat/part all purpose or bread flour method, I would try starting the mixing and kneading process with the all purpose or bread flour, then adding in the whole wheat flour afterwards. And whatever order you add it, kneading extra long will help maximize the formation of the proteins into gluten.

Note that many whole wheat flours already contain some all purpose flour.

Response 2: Use the finest grind of whole wheat flour to reduce the occurrence of sharp bran edges. I also read a suggestion to NOT permit the dough to rise to double, because that's when those mischievous little scissors are most at work.

Response 3: Be very guarded about the amount of whole wheat flour you use, or add more water. In my experience, bread dough should be really very gooey when you start kneading it. As the gluten fibers align, it will 'un-goo', since now the fibers are attracted to each other rather than your hands. (I do notice that the attraction to my mouth never really subsides though.)

Response 4: To coax out as much starch as possible from the whole wheat flour, permit a long fermentation time for the yeast.

Peter Reinhart describes the starch molecule as a tight ball of yarn, saying "when we taste raw flour, or even raw bread dough, very little flavor is perceived by the palate because all the threads are wrapped around one another, making them difficult to discern. Flour tastes like sawdust because its sugar components are too complex to differentiate on the tongue. Now, introduce a catalyst, an enzyme, that acts like a wedge breaking apart that ball of yarn, freeing the various threads so that they become accessible ("The Bread Baker's Apprentice," p. 62). All those enzymes in the flour and the yeast need time to do their tasty work.

Time is most commonly achieved by refrigeration, often overnight. You might also allow an extra rising to coax out a little more sugar. Another common method is to use a sponge which might be wet and gooey, bread like or come in other forms. All these involve the same process though: you combine part of the ingredients ahead of time and let them hang out together, then add the rest of the ingredients and proceed with your breadmaking. An example would be to mix some of the flour, yeast and water together and allow to stand overnight. Add the remaining ingredients the following day to make bread as usual.

It is important when using a sponge to use a little less yeast in inverse proportion to the amount of time the sponge sits out. "You only need enough to make the sponge bubble and rise slightly to stretch the gluten; you don't want the yeast to eat all the broken-out sugars, shit out a bunch of ethanol, and then starve to eath...although that would be totally punk rock."

Some other considerations include:

- Use walnut oil to give dough more softness and moisture. Almost any fat will help the loft somewhat.

- The biggest benefit to white whole wheat flour over traditional red whole wheat flour is color and taste. The taste is much sweeter since there are fewer tannins in wheat berry.

- Freshly ground berries will have no rancidity or bitterness whatsoever, and keeps the dough lighter than pre-ground whole wheat flour.

Reference: Help from Swanky Gruel and other googled sources

Status 20070123

WeighIn
108.2

Today is my feastday.

I admit, I lack understanding when considering:
Flexion vs Extension
Pronation vs Supination

I have decided not to write Pablo much.

I rearended an old lady today. I was stopped behind a line of cars and reached for a water bottle on the far passenger side, unknowingly losing control of the brake. She was going to pick up her sister to get xrays at the hospital. She shook her finger at me earnestly, "You can't drive so close to people!"

Returning for an Advanced Degree by MattK

Matt is working on his doctorate in Kinesiology. He started in 2002, when he was nearly 30 years old (born in 1973).

His undergrad degree was in exercise physiology and he was working in programming and personal training. He was feeling a bit bored, as if there was nowhere to go.

He 'got off the happiness thing', and had an opportunity to get his master's, there was an assistant position for graduate research on how genes in environment affect muscle size and strength.

By participating in this research he would get free tuition and a stipend. It was a lot of work and responsibility but he liked feeling like he was more of a contributor and had more opportunities to be involved and have his accomplishments recognized. This was a big deal. As he progressed, new projects and opportunities were made available, right now he is working on a lipitor study, working with a pool of individuals and performing strength and other tests to determine how it affects muscle damage.

Initially he was interested in research as a career but has had second thoughts since speaking with professors and other researchers. He suggests that one is a slave to this sort of career if one wants to to be successful. He is looking into other avenues, there are roles where, for example, one presents scientific data for approval by the FDA or for readability in a journal.

He stresses making sure that I will be comfortable in the environment.

What's Important This Week?

What is important this week?

- Sleeping
- Eating well

- Climbing 2x, once for ninja, once earlier in the week with homework. Centering and light touch.
- One hour of PT exercises every day, with post icing
- pilates

- oil change
- drycleaning

- dinner with Sylvia
- lunch with Rach

- speaking with Matt
- counselor at career center

- running 2x
- TJs supplements

- deciding about Pablo letter [ask yourself if you really want to be with Pablo if he doesn’t change one bit. If not, if you don’t think a relationship is what you want with Pablo if he stays exactly as he is, what’s the point in writing? What would you be trying to accomplish? If it’s over, it’s over, and if that’s the case it doesn’t matter if he understands your viewpoint. ]

- weekend plans
- writing the story
- Cat movie
- Cleaning up the house
- answering questions online

Plot Development

- Teaching Belaying Leading Pitch Catching. falling is ok. repeated attempts Rope - dynamic properties of. How long. How it is made. Demonstrate abraded rope.

- She is upset about (1) marriage for citizenship (2) cheating

- Cut in rope 10' from partner's end. Could happen anytime.

- 2 pitches set the tone. Development of background tension experience of climbing reasons for frustration and history climb ahead
Made fave sammich (like last meal?) - choose a lower belay after the 2nd pitch?

- 3rd/last pitch.

- Crux, warning of 20', 15', 10'. She falls, thinks is a goner, but is ok because of dynamicism.

- Tops out of call range

- He comes up struggling. Falls (!) falls again (!!)

- Tops out tied in shorter.

- Talk? Separate?

[story within a story...she tells the guy this story? third pitch of something?]
real climb with crux at the top.
Small crack for the fingers?
Humorous
Aesthetics
Gear explanation
Suspense
His weakness
How does she know? what is really the matter?




Playing With the Technical Explanations
What's the difference between a mountain guide and God?
God doesn't think he's a mountain guide.


What do you call a mountain guide without a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Homeless and starving.


Dani surveyed the class and their half asleep grins. That blonde kid, Todd, in the back actually looked asleep. Damned if she found getting up at 6am got any easier either. At least she got to teach. Better to get them talking though.

"Ok, you and your buddy are tied into each end of a rope and hanging 300 feet up the side of a sheer cliff. You want to check out every part of your climbing system to make sure it's working properly, kinda like packing a parachute. What's an important thing you should check?"

"My buddy!" Joe, a hairy, barrel shaped guy suggested. Everyone smiled.

Dani nodded approvingly. "Yup, you're belayer. For starters, you want to make sure they have learned how to hold you in case you fall on the rope. Secondly, you want to be sure they're awake. Yo! Todd!" The blonde kid jerked his head up. She saw his ears turned red and gave him an apologetic grin.

"Ok, what else?"

"The rope!"

"Yes! Can we visit Home Depot, grab any old rope and run up a climb?"

The class shook their heads uncertainly, knowing that just not any rope would do, but not sure why.

"You're correct, the answer is that we can't use just any rope. Why? Ok. First. The forces put on a rope by a falling object tied to it (that would be you) can be enormous. Equivalent to a !!!!. If for example you grabbed a completely inelastic hemp rope a force that big could snap it in two. We want something called a _dynamic_ rope. It's actually stretchy so it can absorb the forces, which will also make the fall feel relatively soft and comfortable to the climber."

"Anyone know how long a standard climbing rope is?"

Marlene raised her hand "60 meters?"

"Yup, that's around 200 feet. Any climb you find in a local guide book assumes you have a 200 foot rope.

"It's a good idea to check out your rope ever so often, particularily after it's been pulled over sharp edges or exposed abrasive surfaces."

"All right! Enough testing. Let's go climb!"


[Class troops out. Climbing practice, but background, it's not really relevant, except to emphasize it's ok to fall. More conversation and mental expansion and fiancee entry. Practice catching a leader and what happens when the rope snaps.

Think about 3rd person, from the eyes of Todd and detective, in retrospect.]

Status 20070122

WeighIn
109.4.

Ok. No more caramel rolls for me.

I must admit, eating 2 caramel rolls at a sitting for three days in a row physically feels like poisoning. no kidding.

This week: no cheating. lots of fiber.


The most disarming compliment I know is "You make that look easy."

You can't respond, 'Nuh-uh!'

Grace Under Biological Pressure

I was running today in the brisk teens. Trotting really. I was stiff and cold and trying to keep my torso silent.

"Hello abs," I hooted about a mile in. "Time to come on out." They responded sluggishly, with whining, but evntually joined the rest of the crew, albeit stumbling and cursing.

The problem with abs is they are simply too elite and stubborn to coexist with the nearly digested remains of caramel rolls and ravioli. On this point they are not moved, cajoled, or disuaded. I trotted on, knowing I could not fight the cycle of the expansion, the release, the expansion, the release, and I knew there was one expansion imminent that would be needing a very special release.

I cut off the path toward the visitor center and found it locked. At least the doors I frantically tried refused my entry. So finally cursing my abs, my genes and my inability to resist caramel, I executed some sort of fumbly legged leap into the woods, lowered my pants mid air, and landed behind a tree in a semi squat mid...er...release.

When I think about the absolute composure I want to have climbing and socially, I know I must work to gain composure in all things and circumstances. Even in pooing, even when it really seems impossible, I must poo in state, as if the world is watching.

After leap, release, recomposing, I resumed my trot, thinking that it seems so much more doable to relax while climbing at my limit then when I have some bowel or bladder urgency. This is interesting since the threat of unrealized inner organ management is soiled pants whereas the threat of climbing failure is potentially death. I suppose, having more experience with soiled pants than death, the simple boost of empirical reality added to soiled pants makes it far more fearful than death.

Whereas, I haven't died yet. At least I don't think I have.

Caramel Rolls

Ralph Waldo Emerson on eating pears: "There are only ten minutes in the life of a pear when it is perfect to eat."

Edward Bunyon, "The Anatomy of Dessert", on eating gooseberries: "The moment of moments and the day of days is on the return from church at 12:30 on a warm July day when the fruit is distinctly warm.

Ramona F, on eating a great grandmother's caramel rolls: A well made caramel roll, while it has a palatable window exceeding ten minutes, certainly demonstrates a magical peak right around the tenth minute after removing from the oven, or the seventh minute after flipping the rolls over. There is a sensual opportunity offered right after the temperature cools to just beyond scorching yet remains warm enough to keep the caramel in a brief moment of melted and warm non-stickiness, a property that can not be adequately recaptured with the help of a microwave. Even the rate at which you fondle that first bite on your tongue is key since too long a mastication period will cool the caramel too much and leave a disappointing finish. Conversely, pre-inhalation is grossly disrespectful and obviously cuts one's pleasure short.


Enough about eating. Let's consider the making.

Cook for less time than you think.

The edges of the oven will crisp rolls faster.

Knead longer than you think.

Leave moister than you think.

A 6 cup flour (3 c liquid) recipe makes 2+ 8x13 pans of BIG rolls.

Make twice as much caramel as you expect. (The recipe I used called for 1/4 c cream, 1/2 c butter and 3/4 c brown sugar for one 9x13)

Kneading on a table works much better than in the bowl.

Grandma Gen makes her caramel with just cream and sugar. Will this make it gooier? Or just making more caramel make it gooier? (It appears that it IS gooier, but we need more data points.)


Dad said the bread is GOOD. Just make more caramel. (He was right. I made a batch of caramel, poured it in the pan, dumped the already baked rolls back upside down into the pan, and baked them until warm...oooooh so good!)

When Electromagnetic Fields Go Bad

A man named Alan Quinn once told me that he had the ability to suck energy from sources. He knew this because often when he passed street lamps they blinked out.

Apparently I have the ability to destroy the energy of sources. Street light thievery is petty stuff compared to this.

Lately I've encountered or caused an odd string of events, including but not restricted to:

• Noticing a strange and loud buzzing from the neighboring house's power lines, then touching the door of my car and receiving a shock that was actually painful. The stinging lasted for the next few minutes as well. This was a new experience.
  
• Visiting the Concord Public Library and 1. freezing the first computer I touched browsing my mail and blog then 2. after a few moments browsing on another machine, mine and the adjacent fellow's machines suddenly blinked off, perhaps due to a loose and shared power connection. I couldn't even get my laptop to connect to their LAN. The librarian listened, apologized, rebooted, crawled under tables and eventually unceremoniously killed herself.
  
• Recent unexplained failure to eject memory sticks.
• Laptop crashing and dying with no apparent trigger event. It twitches every so often so it's not quite dead, but I sense it ought to be put out of its misery.
• Digital camera freezing in the on position, starting to film then moving to a blank screen while still on.
• Digital scale repeatedly trying to read, flipping back to 0, back to 0, back to 0, then sometimes the weight, sometimes ERR.

I realize these happenings aren't so amazing, and no, I don't think a higher power is at work. But is it coincidence or ? the weather ? me scuffing my feet ? a very very very bad personal electromagnetic vibe?

And the fact is, these unenviable encounters with technology are just plain irritating, not to mention extremely inconvenient.

Status 20070119

Weight
105.4 (that night after lots of water and rolls, 106.8. Sat morning, 106. Sunday...after caramel rolls...pot pie...villainy! Wait and see....)

And I'm going to have a piece of chocolate right now...virgin entry of the Epsilon chocolate bowl for 2007 . . . so daring.

Revelations
I always feel perky after a good bowel movement.

Dreams
A tent stake in the forehead? And a fear of pulling it out.

Other
She begged him, Stay. I won't ask you to change, I won't complain, I accept you as you are.
He looked at her without feeling, Woman, I told you to stop nagging me.

Ninja Climbing by Dan

I AM
Relying too much on upper body;
I NEED TO
bring feet further apart,
and body centered inbetween.
Avoid movements where the feet are both out to the side of the bod.



SOME THOUGHTS

Feet tapping, sliding happens because
Can't see the hold. Why? Because the foot is in the way.
Bring foot out from the wall and zoom in like an airplane
into a mountain hangar.

Awesome tech note: perform foot switches with smears. Let's say you want your L foot to go where your R foot is. Bring L to a smear position near R. Then move R to the next hold. Then move L to where R was. Very cool.

Always decide your bouldering sequence. If you veer from the sequence, get off immediately and rethink it rather than bulling through.

Avoid backstepping; it is efficient but it covers a lot of problems.

Use only the very front part of the foot (your toes will be sore!)

Climb 45" nonstop at 60%, "Arcing". This helps tendons develop at the same rate as muscles. It's not nice to slam your body all the time.

Use the thumb more in the gym. Almost every gym hold can accept a thumb.

Climb exclusively in the gym with open hand grip.

In the gym, boulder on features only, everywhere.

Trouble yourself with small feet only. Try using those pockets.

Dear Pablo

The original

Dear Pablo,

Thank you very much for the drop off service and the letter. I don't know the protocal for these things either, but I didn't fail to notice the careful bubble wrapping. I also have several of your belongings which I hope you aren't missing too much. I can drop them off at your house, bring them to your work place, mail them or you can pick them up at a location of your choice; let me know what works best for you.

I am sorry to read that your view is that you are not the man of my dreams. If I told you this wasn't true, or suggested that you weren't disappointing and hurtful to the extent you suggest, it still wouldn't change the fact that you feel that way and worse yet, it makes you unhappy.

I suppose that is the crux of the problem. My She Said/He Said conjecture is as follows:

• I am content to be with you even with the occasional disappointment
  but
• you won't be happy if you think you let me down.

(OR)

• My view is that letting people down is a normal part of a relationship and working through it is part of a life long effort
  but
• to you, letting people down represents failure in a relationship.

(By the way, this goes both ways. I'm not foolish enough to think that I haven't disappointed or hurt you!)

If my conjecture is correct, in retrospect I could have adjusted to our differences by simply keeping my mouth shut. But I felt and still feel as if this is not honest and ultimately not productive. (We can quibble about methods, of course, but that is not the reason relationships end.)

It is what it is, isn't it? You were clearly unhappy with our differences and it saddens me that this is true, but I realize it is not only my happiness at stake. It may be necessary for your fulfillment to be with a woman who finds you idealistic in all ways, or at least more ways than I. If so, I truly hope you find her and that she appreciates that you are quite the catch, an enviable package of superior quality intelligence, devotion, chivalry, humor, thoughtfulness and support, both emotional and physical...just some of your qualities by which I hold you in great admiration and gratitude. Even so, I separate adoration and love, and hope you realize that though I do see you as mortal (though just barely, of course), in the love department I didn't and don't hold back. My love doesn't distinguish between the perfect and imperfect parts.

Thank you for the wholeness of your giving. I do love you and wish you every joy and consolation,

Ramona

The Childish Pricking

You are correct. You are not the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams would not end our relationship. =)

You have remarked that it seems I, Ramona, always need to win in a discussion. I hope you take comfort that you got the very last word that will ever matter. You said "goodbye". While I sat on the other end of the phone and believed there was a high probability we would be together a long time, you won the biggest decision of them all when you wanted to break up and I didn't.

The Final?

Dear Pablo,

Thank you very much for the drop off service and the letter. I don't know the protocal for these things either, but I didn't fail to notice the careful bubble wrapping. I also have several of your belongings which I hope you aren't missing too much. I can drop them off at your house, bring them to your work place, mail them or you can pick them up at a location of your choice; let me know what works best for you.

I am sorry to read that your view is that you are not the man of my dreams. If you thought I didn't want to be with you, you misunderstood. On the other hand, you were clearly dissatisfied with our differences and it saddens me that this is true, but I realize it is not only my happiness at stake. I conclude that, by making the unexpected choice to terminate our relationship, you believe that you have a better opportunity at being happy without me. I'm glad if you have found the right choice for you, and wish you all the best.

- Ramona

The True Final - Jan 24

Dear Pablo,

Dear Pablo,

Thank you very much for the drop off service and the letter. I don't know the protocal for these things either, but I didn't fail to notice the careful bubble wrapping. I also have several of your belongings which I hope you aren't missing too much. I can drop them off at your house, bring them to your work place, leave them at the BRG, mail them or you can pick them up at a location of your choice; let me know what works best for you.

I am sorry to read that your view is that you are not the man of my dreams. I am also surprised that you didn't write something even more to the point - that I am not the woman of your dreams. An entire page of very nice compliments does more to flag than to conceal that unwritten 'but'.

You might pity yourself because you realized your five year dream wasn't true. You might also consider that there is something more entitled to sympathy - you took away my opportunity to realize my own dreams. If you thought I didn't want to be with you, you misunderstood. On the other hand, you were clearly dissatisfied with our differences and it saddens me that this is true, but I realize it is not only my happiness at stake. I conclude that, by making the unexpected choice to terminate our relationship, you believe that you have a better opportunity at being happy without me. I'm glad if you have found the right choice for you, and wish you good fortune.

- Ramona

Status 20070118

Weigh In 105.4

Realization The fact that there is a Why is enough.

Paraphrases of the Week
"If promiscuity were a person, how do you think promiscuity feels about you? Do you think promiscuity wishes you good or harm? Does promiscuity like you?" --Dave G

"The only thing you can think about is what you could change about yourself. Not what you can't change about someone else. Right now the important thing is to do things that make you happy and help you grow, and maybe he will reenter your life, or perhaps you'll meet other people to fill that space or you'll gain an incredible feeling of spaciousness." -- Jean S

PT Scrapbook
Knee stretch and exercise
Shoulder exercise
Sprain exercise and stretch
Lis Franc notes
Back exercise and stretch
Back notes
Elbow history and notes
Elbow exercises
Supplemental climbing exercises from Chris

Hueco Report - In Progress

Right about fall 2005 my obsession for climbing burgeoned into monstrous dimensions. As the weather turned cold, I wept. One by one I was driven from the old haunts. It became too cold to handle cams at the Gunks. Soon I was numb to the razor edges of Rumney. Finally, I tried to climb Cannon around Thanksgiving. Snow was sliding from the upper reaches of Whitney Gilman in huge swathes and forcing me to cling to the damp walls and pray. Finally I realized God wasn't coming to save me and I rappelled off the third belay.

And thus I found bouldering and people crazy enough to do it with me.

I escaped the lung stifling gyms with smug rejoicing and monkeyed away long December afternoons. Christmas saw the arrival of a bouldering pad decked out with a red velvet bow, shortly to become spackled with mud on its virgin excursion to Lincoln Woods. It was good fun.

Fortunate was I to have found this past time as the dawning of annual trad spring trip planning found me unexpectedly without a belayer. This is a pickle since in January there is no way to experience climbing outside trad with a new person before that first tie-in on a desert mecca. That first tie in when you wonder if your shiny new partner ever caught a leader fall. When you think a morning brewski might be a safer alternative to finding out just how much insurance that little green book does offer.

I was spared a springtime of alcoholism as Pete and Norm were busily buzzing about a bouldering trip. They almost indifferently extended me an invitation, assuming I would never purchase airfare to a destination where the proudest named mountains shrank next to the likes of Beacon Hill and ropeage is deemed way uncool.

Clearly, they underestimated my desperation.

Also, there does happen to be one or two stellar routes at Hueco, practically untouched by the grubby little rock hoppers, and I packed my ropes.

Precise and learned elders of trad keep neat sites; their engineering minds like the order. Not so at the Hueco climbing ranch, where a shoe tree dominated the middle of the camp, two slack lines swayed in the wind and all those beaming faces still insufficient to bear a proper beard beamed happily through unfocused eyes. Dude!


* * * *

[Title: Dude, Where's My Rope? : A Trad Climber Goes to Hueco Tanks][Geology: watering holes, vegetation, why huecos are cool]
[Paintings and problems]
[Up all night with the ipod]
[Little lost dog]
[CO folks don't show]
[Stove don't work]
[Lip Sync]
[People we met: kid from colorado in breaking down mini bus, bad semester, girlfriend just left, blonde dred kid with no car]
[Flappers: The ongoing nightly discussion. Topic is treated with the same precision and concern as brain surgery.]
[El Paso: economically depressed, really no food, random cattle ranch out in the boonies, we thought we were gonna die, best steak EVER]
[Trad Day: Dance of the Rappell Ropes]
[Injury: Pete]
[Satisfaction: All day on a v4]
[Prelude: the hardest I'd ever bouldered was v2. I had a pretty list of v1s on the plane]
[Pics]
[Melon Patch]
[Bouldering is cool because: you can walk back to the car and get a juice box at any time. Because your buddy can climb 6 grades harder than you within 6 feet of you. Because there is always a decent bathroom option when nature calls.]
[Day off in the mountains of....]
[Norm's puffy knee..hacking cough...]
[Dead car battery]
[Some logistics, flights in and out, ]

Everything was so grey with dust. It was impossible to distinguish between stoves that had been abandoned and stoves that were used for breakfast.

It was windy but quite warm.

So windy that I slept in the van and it rocked precariously, which unnerved me the first night but lulled me to sleep on consecutive nights.

Bouldering pads make rockin' mattresses.

It was so warm that for the most part we sought climbs in the shade, where the temperature was about perfect.

From the van, North Mountain had a silly name. Tain't no mountain, it's a pile. As we entered the park on foot, I was punished by intimidation. My first thought was "Whooooa, these are really big boulders. Mommy." My second was "Uh, there are like so many of these, a total galaxy of rock." It is remarkable that anyone could be audacious enough to dare to write a comprehensive guidebook.

It was a bit of a intergalactic playground, puzzles, monkey bars, jungle gyms stretch to infinity. One of the most famous V2 problems there is a gymnastically fun piece called "No One Gets Out of Here Alive". The problem is about as long as the name. For the first 10 feet of the problem you crawl like a fly upside down on a ceiling littered with juggy huecos. Locals favor the 'Bat Start'. You first lie on the ground deep under the boulder at the start of the ceiling. You point your legs straight up in the air and latch your feet inside the first hueco. Then you execute a mighty crunch with your abdominals to get your head and shoulders up by your knees and grab the same hueco with your hands. Now you are pre-exhausted, and all crunched up, touching your toes, hanging from a hueco about one foot in diameter. And now you can start climbing.

Crikey, and I thought sit starts were tough. Bat Starts beat them hands down.

Ghetto Simulator is another V2 classic. It is juggy and joyfully overhung. It is also longer than half the routes at Rumney, but escapes being a death climb because a slab runs below and the length of it at precisely the same angle. When Officer Gravity slaps the cuffs of a vicious pump on your forearms and orders you "Off the climb!", you can simply drop your toes down onto the slab and stem from the climb to get a rest or remove your sorry ass from the climb altogether.





The End. Dude.

Lori's Views on Physical Therapy

That girl sure does love her job. A lot. Of course she loved waitressing too. I think I tend to judge her by her lack of confidence in certain situations and is hell-bent driven, but didn't look past the jerky mannerisms and the personal push too see that she really does have a great attitude.

8 years in the field.
First in a mixed situation in the burbs; more of the patients were less driven to get better, some even trying to work the system to their advantage. She tends to be leery of 'car accidents'. Part of her job is identifying 'fakes'. Also she did hospital, some at home care and geriatrics. She thought she wouldn't like geriatrics but actually did, though it isn't her first choice.

Now she works in Somerville for more of the clientele I see in Acton, working, active people, weekend warrior injuries. She says the first job was perfect though since it exposed her to many different scenarios and work environments. Eight years later, she is ok with being pigeon holed.

To keep up with changing care ideas, she's offered compensation equivalent to two classes a year. The opportunities are good to take these in the Boston and New England area, lots of travel in conferences and such.

Why she loves this job and what is critical to succeeding: an interest in people and an ability and desire to work and communicate with them. She does have the same experience as any other PT I've spoken with - an o.d. on communication and disinclination to socialize, at least evenings after work. Being alone after work is helpful, but by the weekend she is ready to get out and play with her friends.

She absolutely suggests starting a career in this field. She is worried on my behalf since I once said I was pretty shy, but that is her only hesitation.

Insurance does suck. It will. It's a lot of work if there is no billing department at your facility and medicare and health regulations directly affect compensation. However, there is a lot of demand right now and it fortunately isn't difficult to find work.

Basically in this field you either practice for someone else or run your own practice. Running your own practice might be more lucrative; right now salaries might start around 40K and go up to 60K, maybe 70K if you're doing well.

Lori attended the university of RI, a cost effective choice, and it took her 3 years, including summers, to acquire a master's degree. With a little more practical experience she could have had a doctorate. Right now another year and 10K would do it. She ended up with 50K in loans which she has since paid off. There were TA opps. She also worked, but on the first semester of the first year since working plus school really allows no free time and Lori felt it was important to be able to get out and recreate and socialize.

In school, the first year is academic and rigorous. The second year gets better and the third involved travelling to various locations in the New England area for the practicals.

Status 20070117 Randomly

Weigh In 106.6

Oooh. Time to pay attention again. Yesterday I confess to a chocolate covered strawberry, and I am most mortified because the chocolate bit was third-rate . . . slimy with too much shortening type stuff and far too milky for this context. I confess with greater satisfaction to finishing my JP Licks order in the evening, tripped out with hot fudge and slivered almonds.

Today I not so much prepared as exploded hot All Bran and milk in the microwave. I scraped fibrous bombs from the interior into a bowl and breakfasted happily. The flavors were subtle but complex; there were whiffs of curry, curtsies of steamed spinach, a sort of divine puff from a cidered apple cinnamoned in glory.

For lunch I entered The Cheese Shop cautiously (I hear looking but not touching is acceptable in these modern times), stiffly ordered a cup of hearty vegetable soup which was a thinly disguised kissing cousin to chili, muttered the lie that I wanted no bread and miraculously escaped unscathed. I chased the goods with a so-so tangelo and am now cooped up in the Concord Free Public Library where food may not enter without suffering terrible punishment and perhaps even destruction.

Dental Dance
tension to provide structure without rigor, who wants a floppy fish? who wants a stiff board?
Relax everything that isn't providing structure.

Gyn
Oh my. Relax? And the bladder? Yeesh!

BRG and Dan
Climbing is abusive. It just is. Climbing at a high level is about managing your injuries.

Questions 20070116

What is the proper way to hold a pen and why? (Trish and Joyce of Metrowest want to know)
What is it like to be a dietician or nutritionist?
Where did that $25 go?
How do regular people make sticky buns and borscht?

Status 20070116 and Theories on Injury

Weigh In: 106.

Is it hydration that causes the swing upward from yesterday's 104.8? My ice cream sundae indulgence the night before? Not enough fiber?

I am considering establishing a new goal, which is to maintain a range of 104 to 106. I will decide after seeing my weigh ins for the rest of the week.

Brain Report
I have been so listlessly tired these last two days. I just want to slip into a coma at my computer. I'm even getting seven hours of sleep, but maybe I need more. Objectively, I might feel this way because I am:

• Depressed
• Over trained
• Under or poorly slept
• Under or poorly nourished

For the moment I will set a target get get over 8 hours of sleep. "Over" being the crux word. Then I will address the other possibilities.

This Morning's Unprecedented Run & Back Report
I ran this morning to the twang of tight hamstrings. And for the first time on the usual fells loop, alone.

There seems to be a relationship between those tights hams, a slightly gimpy left knee (anterior, right side), and my hip falling, thence causing the SI problem. So in addition to some careful stretching (though it was...er...post run), I ran quite slowly in small steps in order to coddle the knee and to keep the hips in better alignment; it took me 52 minutes instead of 43 to complete the loop. Holy crap, those Fells groupies make me run fast. =)

I didn't want to run alone this morning. It was dark and drizzly. My headlamp is inadequate. The temperature was glove worthy. I sat in my car for five minutes past the appointed hour as people persisted in not arriving and thought I would go back home and sleep. Then I figured that all the time I'd spent driving, dressing and waiting would be wasted, so I might as well run. Also, to be honest, I'm always afraid that if I give in just once to the Fat Guy (TM RickyD), I'll be more apt to give in the next time. I fear becoming a softie. So I ran.

Five or ten minutes into the woods, I was at peace with my decision, primarily because I was warm. I was a little nervous I'd get lost on my own, several times wondered if I had, but didn't. My brain was happily prickled.

I have been thinking of other causes for my back condition. These might be related and could include the new car, since the clutch and seat are definitely positioned differently. If I consciously relax or rest on the clutch less, I notice tension and discomfort dissipate from left hip. I have not yet found a satisfactory seat position, it feels too high when I can see comfortably. Another cause might be the change in jobs, since it entails a new desk, different chair, computer, etc. I will fully admit I have never thought about my office chair before, ever. So I can't adequately compare this one at Epsilon to my last one at iBasis. But this one is definitely too deep and when my feet are comfortably on the floor my eye level is at the bottom of the monitor.

I also wonder about sleeping positions...what is the best way to sleep? I curl up more when I am cold which may aggravate lots of things, though probably not instigate problems.

Frustrations and Elbow Report
The fact is, I'm not sure I know how to do the exercises properly. Why do I feel so much tiredness in my wrist? I also never felt that pain in my wrist as I did on Dec 5th from climbing before I did antagonistic exercises. I'm not suggesting that's a conclusion, just a thought.

Secondly, Dr. Julian Saunders suggests incurring maximum aggravation for the medial epicondylitis exercises. But where exactly should the aggravation occur, only on the medial epicondyle? What about this feeling I get in the (smack alert) brachioradialis, the bicep insertion points above the elbow and the wrist, both top and bottom?

Thirdly, with hand supinated, the dumbell always clocks over onto the thumb and slips completely out of the control of the little finger. How do I manage this?

Fourthly, but related, how much weight is the right amount of weight? How much contraction is appropriate at the top and bottom of the movement? argh! Are these things I should consult about with a personal trainer in foresight rather than a PT in hindsight?

The Wrong Way

I was turning into a side street, or rather, cutting over it at an angle to access the deli parking lot.

I stopped with my nose partially turned and entered as I saw a woman start crossing from the deli over the side street. She looked squarely at me as she walked and made several guestures I didn't understand.

My brain fired off the following in order:

What is she trying to say?
Is she being pissy?How dare she be pissy? I stopped! And she's not even on a crosswalk.
Wait.
Maybe she isn't pissy.
But what do those guestures mean?
[I squint myself to understanding.]
Oh...I'm turning the wrong way up a one way street.

I waved and smiled thanks to the woman, turned back onto Main Street and entered the deli via legal means.

I dislike when my first reaction in uncertainty is negativity. I'm not sure whether to attribute this negative response to a pessimistic perception of humanity or my own defensive nature which might stem from lack of self confidence or an over developed sense of I'm Right. I also wonder whether my incomplete confidence in myself or others has been honestly earned.

Climbing Technique and Injury Prevention

The elbow issues I'm experiencing are brought on potentially by the following factors. Note that these are wholesome "smack":

• Poor technique. I need to use an open handed grip more.
• A refusal to relax.
• Over zealous antagonistic training. I am guilty of overgripping dumbells.
• A liking for the chicken dance. No wings!

Injury Prevention:
Sports Injury Assessment and Rehab

I also noticed this book, it might be helpful to browse this type of volume and see what it has to offer:
Biomechanics of Sports and Exercise (numerous volumes)

Two recommended for technique and injury prevention:
Training for Climbing by Horst
Climbing: Training for Peak Performance by Clyde Soles

Very highly recommended but no injury discusssion:
The Self Coached Climber by Dan Hague

"Pablo" by Dad and Akiko

Akiko says Pablo couldn't keep up. That to not keep up is to fail for him. And that he had complained once that he couldn't keep up, so it has been somewhat verbalized. This rings to the same tone as Catherine's estimation, although her ergo was 'inadequate', not 'fail'.

Akiko said he is very miserable but keeping himself busy. Ok, good. I had forgotten he had a busy few months coming up. This is a good thing.

Dad suggested a new idea entirely. He said he thinks Pab felt like it wasn't going anywhere. after 4-5 years of trying to make it go somewhere, he didn't feel confident that it would. He couldn't exactly pinpoint why Pablo might have felt it was going nowhere, but my father does cling to his persistence theory and applies it wherever possible. =)

Aside from the smiles, it's true that 'near the end', I was certainly less attracted to Pablo since he was putting on weight, and I'm sure he knew that. Also I think from the very first or second 'discussion' we had, his confidence in our success waned, and increasingly so as we progressed through discussions, perhaps at the rate of one per month. For the last few months there was no referencing the "I Do" book at all; he didn't see the point since in his mind we had a lot to fix.

I see it differently, as my father does, which is that there is always something to fix, but you can't drop the maintenance and progression of everything else while you fix the biggest problems. Fixing and growing is part of the entire life of the relationship.

I'll return to the physiology example. You don't stop running or climbing when you experience soft tissue misbehaviour. You direct efforts towards fixing the problem and modify your activities so you don't aggravate the condition but you don't cease performing the activities or your training will go nowhere.

Aside from my own analysis and horse beating, my Dad was very sweet to call up and 'check on me', listen to my thoughts and offer his own. It is not like him, because reaching out to me and many others is certainly out of his comfort zone. I am trying to increase that comfort to encourage a better relationship between us. That might be one blessing out of all this mess.

West Prep

WHERE?

CA, ID, UT, AZ, NV, WY, WA,

WHO?

Betty and Jacob
Theresa
Matt and Heather
Diana
Jane?
NoDak peeples
Akiko's brother

Speak with mountaineering committee members and similar folk

WHAT?

warmer is better
very local rock
society vs tourism
clubs
gyms
cheap flights
reasonable cost of living
jobs (REI)
local fruits and veggies
school

DECISION TREE

Are you going to school?

If YES then will need to take prereqs in the fall and apply in the spring. Prereq taking will be part of the later final decision and should be done locally.

If NO Then

If Catherine moves away, I'll need to move also at the end of August.

LOOK WEST, consider what Gary might be able to provide on the west coast,

or look for another job.

Else if Catherine stays local and in the same apt, probably take on another year lease

and make better established plans going forward.

Status 20070115

WEIGHIN
104.8

BACK
I ran the entire skyline trail yesterday, climbed the previous day, and my back feels pretty good.

READING
I picked up Capote's 'Answered Prayers' at the Malden Public Library. It is overpowering in its sensationalism and narcissism. A good start; I think I will enjoy other selections more after this dud.

REVELATIONS
Food is like sex. I most crave it most often when it is most dangerous.

HAVE YOU

• Relaxed today?
• Centered today?
• Made an unselfish guesture today?
• Done something for or contacted someone you love today?

NEXT STEPS IN PURSUIT OF NEW YEAR'S GOALS
still need to write up Lori
follow up with Matt K (schedule)
find a climbing trainer
record how my parents met
backup and compile recipe book comments
scrapbook pt notes, handouts, and other (climbing article)
New foods to try: prawns, kholrabi

Climbing: Seth suggested retaining a small amount of tension in the elbow. This makes sense according to the fingerboard hang instructions, Climbing focus for forthcoming session: slight tension, elbows in towards body, open handed grip using a device, BUTT in.

Eggs in a Basket

Many people place all their goals and dreams in a relationship, or a person. I once did.

Devastation of course occurs when the person is removed. One loses both the person, and also whatever part of themselves was intertwined with those dreams and goals.

Is it an act of ultimate trust to have only one basket?

Or is it just plain stupid?

Petri Feelings

It seems, in a gross ying yang approach, if there is benefit in cultivating The Thinker there should be benefit in simultaneously cultivating The Feeler.

However, giving even a glance, The Feeler usually represents chaos to me. It elicits a similar confusion to placing myself in proximity of a crush I can't realize, much in the vein of Andrew's behaviour toward JuliaM. In quietly objective moments, I believe that giving heed to The Feeler doesn't need to be chaotic, but I'm not sure how to develop (or rather permit the return of) The Thinker's antagonistic role.

Instead of contemplating resolution, I instead minimize The Feeler using various tactics. For example, this weekend my view of burgeoning emotions was similar to my view of some bacterial nastiness run amok in a biology lab...such propogation oughtn't be encouraged. This attitude doesn't necessarily feel right to me, but it does feel more comfortable.

I will abruptly switch metaphors in order to trick out my discomfort. Is The Feeler the shorter, concentric, powerful thrust, while The Thinker is the controlled, steady and eccentric motion? To realize anything perfectly, they must be present and balanced.

Elbow History and PT Instructions

Proposed Causes (my theories)
- excess tension all around
- poor technique, including preferring crimp over open and hand and 'winging'
- overzealous antagonistic training and overgripping dumbbells, perhaps using too much weight and overcontracting

History
Prior to September:
No known elbow issues.
1x week a few pullups, rows, reverse wrist curls, bench press

September:
First occurrence, classic symptom, inner nub of elbow.
Laid off climbing for 3 weeks, followed by gradual reintroduction.
Resumed reverse wrist curls and pronator/supinator with icing and IB

October-November:
On occasional glimmer would cause me to back off, but overall ok.
Began doing full sweep of recommended stretches and exercises:
pushups/bench press (3 sets of 12-15)
dips/triceps (as many dips as can, or about 12 triceps)
pullups/rows (have always done these)
reverse wrist curls and pronation/supination
forearm, tricep, hamstring stretches

December 6:
Felt off during a moderate climbing gym session. Started feeling a bit sore.
The next day, flared up hugely, and everywhere, wrist, brachioradialus

Currently (after +1 month off):
Have climbed about 4-5 times, first 1x a week, in the last two weeks, 2x week very moderately.
Shorter session and longer rests between climbs.
Experience minor irritation, up to 3, which icing eases.

Jan 18, 2007 via Chris
Four stretches:
1. Knuckles against the table edge, palms faced toward bod, wrists on top.
2. Back of the knuckles against the table edge, palms facing away from bod, wrists on top.
3. Fingertips against the table edge, palms facing away from bod, wrist down
4. Stretch fist turned in and held by control hand (palm on back of stretch fist) and thumb (holding stretch fingers into palm). Stretch thumb flopped out comfortably.

Stretch notes:
1. First position the hand, then extend the arm.
2. Keep the arm relaxed. No, relaxed. Go LIMP, wrist, shoulder, elbow, muscles.
3. 30 seconds as usual
4. No pain at all as usual
5. Involve pinkie in stretch...very important!

Exercises (definitely curls, Chris says pronator exercises are fine)
1. Reverse curls
2. Wrist curls
3. Lateral curls
4. Medial curls
5. Pronation (break out the pronator exercise into two parts)
6. Supination

Exercise Notes:
1. Full range of motion, or until the shortest point of the extension (i.e. when the fist comes undone)
2. Work that pinkie, it is the weakest link
3. 2 x 12, where you feel like you could do a couple more
4. 2 sec contraction, 1 second isometric, 3 seconds eccentric.
5. Grip the weight so lightly that it sometimes falls from your hand, just as in the shoulder exercises. You do not want to engage those grip muscles.
6. When using an exercise band, the band should enter the thumb side from the anchor point. The first four exercises, except the lateral curl, are performed with the foot anchoring the band.
7. Lateral curls are performed as follows. Place the arm and wrist firmly against the outer thigh palm down. Leave plenty of room for the wrist to be able to move left and right, full range of motion. Wrap the band around the opposite knee and anchor it with the opposite hand next to the opposite thigh. Make micro adjustments by bringing knees closer or further.

Functioning
1. No more than 1 out of 10.


Some General Ideas about Climbing Fitness
Meditation
Full strength training circuit in spare time, plus forearm exercises
Long term forearm can lower the reps so that good form is maintained to the eighth rep, then can fall apart.
He likes the flexor/extensor ball, which has rubber bands to insert each finger.
He also says he knows people who recommend the mechanical hand device
1 armed pullups using a gravitron
The PINKIE is a weak link
I personally should avoid full hangs on my skeleton since I have loose joints and am prone to dislocation. Slight tension is better for me. People who have nice tight joints however can hang away.

Incidentally, pronation is palm down and supination is palm up. There. Or maybe I'm wrong...

Vietnam

See all those keychains? My customers go on vacations and bring me something back. They bring me all those keychains. But no one ever brings me the car. But I hope. They say if they win the lottery they will get me a car. So I hope they win the lottery. If I don't hope, I never get the car.

You would like my country. There are many mountains and ocean. I lived by the mountain. I climb to the top many times. There is a long bridge there.

My family hates Americans. You know how Americans hate Saddam Hussein? That is how they hate Americans. Now I am American. My family says, how can you be? They say Saddam killed people, but Americans killed Saddam? I don't know what is right and what is wrong.

I like football. It is beautiful. My favorite sport is soccer, but football is good. Right now it is Indianapolis against Baltimore. Tonight it will be Philadelphia against New Orleans. But I am for New England. Tomorrow is a very big game with San Diego.

I left because you must do what they tell you. Here, if you don't like George Bush you can walk outside and say 'I don't like George Bush'. In my country they shoot you. You run and run and run and run and they shoot you. In this country, they say stop, or I'll shoot. There, they let you run. They don't say stop. I ran and ran and ran.

They shot my friend. I saw him. I closed my eyes and ran and ran and ran. Later I got on a boat with 12 people. In the boat they could not shoot me. I went to a country called Singapore. Then I came here. I wrote my family a letter from Singapore. In it I write "I hate you, father. I do not care for you, mother." That way they know I run away. If I said "I hate my country" or "you were right, father" then they would shoot my family. If I say "I hate you father" then he will know that I ran away. They read all mail. When I call, there is always someone listening.

I visited once, ten years ago. It is very dangerous. Because I am American, someone follows me everywhere. It is very expensive to visit. Maybe next year I will have enough.

I told my father everyone in America has a car. He asked, how many people live with you? I said, 7. He said, so there are 7 cars? I said, yes. He said, you are a liar! They could not have 7 cars. I told my father, I am your son, you know I am not a liar. In Vietnam, the houses are very small and close. You can only park a motorcycle by the house. I want to take a picture and bring it to my father and show him. But he die four years after.

People at the bottom of the mountain and people at the top of the mountain. The people at the top climbed from the bottom and they understand. People at the bottom, they nod their head and say 'ya ya ya ya ya!' but they don't understand. Americans are at the top and they see everything, all around. My family, they are at the bottom of the mountain. They only see what is at the bottom of the mountain.

I don't know who is right and who is wrong, but leave people alone. They happier that way.

When I see someone on the street, and my daughter want to give them money, I tell her not to give them money. She ask me why? I say, because tomorrow someone will not give them $10 and they will be unhappy because it is different. They are happy now. Leave them alone. I help by giving my money to places that make food for the poor, but these people on the street don't want to work and pay bills, they are happier that way.

Thanks

I would like to express appreciation for my big eyes, for my health, for my job and abilities to maintain it, for the people who have encouraged me, understood me, listened to me and forgave me.

Myers Briggs

This morning I got up early, poured out a glass of water since I was dehydrated and took the Myers Briggs Test. The instructions included "don't ponder, work quickly". I ensured speedy responses by promising myself coffee once I was finished.

It isn't scored yet, but a couple things occur to me.

1. Although the test indicates "there are no right or wrong answers", I'd guess most people face a fair amount of questions where they instinctively believe that one answer is clearly right, not just for them, but for all people. In the section where you are asked to choose a word that appeals most to you, there are word pairs such as "Just" and "Sensitive", "Strong willed" and "Tender-hearted", "Few friends" and "Lots of friends". It is not difficult to think of personalities who would mandate one or the other.

2. I appear to answer when pertaining to myself, as an orderly, logical scheduled person. "Schedule" comes up many times, and when the question is phrased "Do you prefer to start your day with a schedule..." the answer is clear. But the question "In your daily work do you (a) rather enjoy an emergency that makes you work against time" or (b) usually plan your work so you won't need to work under pressure." I unhesitatingly chose (a). In word pairs, "Unplanned" as a word appeals to me more than "Scheduled". I like the execution of spontaneity and get a huge charge out of it, but I am afraid of spontaneity 'going bad' and therefore most often choose and create structure. Perhaps I also enjoy spontaneity more because it is a break from the daily corset. Much in the same manner that play time becomes so much more valuable to a child once they start school.

3. Where I conduct myself in a structured way, I am attracted to brilliant over sensible, imaginative over practical people.

I feel that spontaneity is my nature, but structure has been instilled through childhood and also taught by experience. I have discovered a value in it, much like exercise or nutrition. I also feel that it is not something that will dissipate, I am fully converted.

I wonder too if I value structure over spontaneity because it is acquired with so much sweat and effort. It is not free.

I think I need to develop an understanding for people who can't, don't want to or just simply haven't converted also. I like them, but in cooperative situations their less structured attitudes can frustrate me.

Another option might be to balance the spontaneous and structured parts of myself which would theoretically make me more 'integrative'. I think that is necessary anyway which is what keeps me from recovering more quickly from 'slumps', or lack of motivation, as described in an earlier post.

Status 20071201

Intake
Two scale points say 105.2 today, hoorah.

Goal for the remainder of January is then to experiment with maintenance. Low sodium, lean protein, high fiber, green veggies, and balanced meals. It is not necessary to deprive oneself of bread, just to eat half portions. Evening snackage might be the fudgsicle or a half bowl of hot all bran. Consider how to fit in desserts too. Propose two per week?

Exceptions might include Datasense dinner on Saturday, going to the North End with Catherine, the occasional lunch or dinner out, and family events. In these cases, it is so important to focus on moderation not on abstinence. Abstinence is unrealistic for mortals which is why it often leads to setbacks later. Worse yet, Just Saying No tends to piss off your dining partners until one day you find yourself having an intimate evening with a salad. Moderation would be: at a bertucci's lunch, enjoy a salad with one piece of pizza but no additional bread. At a potluck, add lots of veggies to the plate and focus upon two luscious dishes to enjoy. With the family, oi, serve up after everyone else and get involved in some activity such as playing with Lucas in the basement. Dessert in general should only be saved for the most special or unusual occasions (***** restaurants) and always shared.

Bod
Elbow feels pretty good. I am energized. I ran last night 3 miles from the gym, then ran again this morning in the Fells. The left hip is troubling.

Blog Improvement
Consider sitting in on a writing course. Or even taking one at some adult education center.

Edumacation
Spoke with Lori today. In summary, the work sounds great. It is apparent that I should find a volunteer or shadow opportunity soon, which should give me some of the most valuable feedback. I also need to evaluate the impact of (1) working in a hospital and (2) the monetary backlash from grad school, i.e. the additional cost of school, the lower pay scale after school, speed of loan repayment and the effect of these variables on my standard of living and retirement options.

Realizations
The Pursuit of Happyness: Will Smith is an artist. He successfully plays the guy who is smart and knows it, but struggling and realistic, all without being annoying. He also plays salesguy who is persistent without putting you off. Remarkable achievements. It seems that a movie can prostelatyze about poverty without shoving it in your face. But, oh, the tension that movie caused! My insides were in knots the entire 1:50.

Discovering motivation: Even though I write this blog in bits at work, I think it is helping to clarify my thoughts about work and life and is actually serving to motivate me. I feel more productive as well as interested in my work.

Two week anniversary of my breakup is today; technically 2am tomorrow.

I will probably work for 40 more years. I have already worked about 10.

I need more hours this weekend:

8 Dinner, preparing for dinner, going out after dinner (assuming 4pm to midnight on Saturday night)
1 Abs for both days
3 Careering
5 Painting with Akiko
3 Running fells or mountain or full gym-nauseum
5 Bouldering/climbing
2 Tidying house and room
2 Cooking and prepping for Becky
4 Visiting Becky
+ 4 Shopping
------------------------------
=>37 hours
+ 16 sleeping
------------------------------
=>53 hours requested
- 48 hours offered
------------------------------
=> 5 hour deficit

(NOTE: All times include driving times)