I wonder how much of my preoccupation with food will dissipate now without being around Pablo.
So far, I notice it is not as difficult to avoid the chocolate bin here on Epsilon's 4th floor. In fact, I have done so successfully for about a week now. Unprecedented. Although I just recalled that I wasn't an entirely picky eater at the New Year's Eve party. There was yet some obsessive lingering around the buffet table. I will ask the following questions anyhow:
- Did Pablo 'consciate' this lust in me by his own obsession?
- Am I merely less drawn to chocolate because I'm in a slump? (don't think so, I'm craving FOOD, I am not experiencing a lapse in appetite, but it bears mentioning)
- Am I more motivated to lose weight when I'm not with Pablo, because I perceive more potential for performance gains or being attractive to other people?
I dislike this childish urge in me to stare at everyone's pelvic tilt. Hopefully most aren't noticing; I know some are.
I am trying to walk around as if I am suspended by a taught line by my pelvic bone to the ceiling. This involves dropping the shoulders down and back in a relaxed position, rather like a cartoon of a fat, loose man. I wonder if I look as silly as I feel.
How is it that I read a book last night with a strong character appearing by the name of 'Pablo'? Damn Porter for recommending it.
